Fart O'clock

It's fart o'clock in the morning right now. It's witching hour!

fff jjj

fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj fff jjj

Annoying Man Calling

When an annoying man calls your house and he’s called more than once and he wants to talk to your dad who isn’t home, yell as loud as you can "MOM!! IT’S THAT DUMB MAN AGAIN!" He probably won’t call back after that.

I Am Not Successful

I just want to make it clear to anyone who might be reading this that I am not successful, I repeat, I am not successful. I don’t have a real job and most of my friends are spam or people I don’t know. I think I might be a loser, actually.

Bus Love

I’m sure everyone’s familiar with bus love. Bus love transcends all boundaries of the bus. Whether it’s soft bus seats or seats that you can’t write on with a pen, bus love is still there, even when someone pulls out vincenzo's sandwich. Even if the bus is stuffed full of 500 people and bus love is challenged physically, there will still be hand on leg or small of back. That’s how bus love works. It’s always loving.

Go Fuck Yourself

Just kidding.

Not Without My Rose

fine, but only if my rose can come too!

The Other Kind of Party Cracker

is the edible cracker that gets less salty the more pretentious the party. If you have an unsalted bland party cracker that tastes like ass wafer, you’re probably at a dirty shoe party.