Fuckhoo News: How To Judge a Dood By His Food

Fuckhoo News has some great ways to judge the men you're dating. We especially love judging men by what they eat. Here are a few ways to judge your guy. He orders:

Steak: Oh yummy, meat burps later, or better yet, post sex. Well, whatever, as long as he flosses his teeth. And as long as he doesn't leave the flossed bits in the sink and on the mirror like my last boyfriend.

Fish: He likes to eat pussy.

Pasta: He's gonna get fat 10 years into your marriage.

Dumplings: This guy is fat.

Dessert: Gay. Then straignt. Then gay again. Then straight. Then gay.

Alcohol: Perfect, an alcoholic, just like me. Sex will be drunken and great later.

Salad: Not bad, not bad. Watchin the weight, I like that.

Nothing: Better yet. I love a guy who doesn't eat.

Fuckhoo News: Why Height Matters So Much

In today's Yahoo News they talked about why height matters in dating and how we should stop being superficial and instead try and find ways to cope with mens' shortness. It offered tips to men to make themselves appear taller, including:

-wearing thicker soles
-standing straighter
-standing next to short people

Because tall women were given no advice by Yahoo news on how to appear shorter, Fuchoo News has some tips:

-cut off your legs

Yahoo News also painted short men in a nice light. It let us all know that short men work harder. This is also known as Short Man Syndrome aka overcompensation.