Tim Hortons

Make me some money for once, Tim Hortons. I eat at your restaurant andsupport you all the time, and you never do anything for me. You make mehalf cooked bagels that I eat anyway because I don’t want to go throughthe drive-thru again. So let me use your name without you getting madover it. Let me mention your company in my blog. I’m not even makingany money off this. In fact, I’m losing money because I’m sitting herethinking about this stuff when I could be working. Anyways, I supportyou. And I even still consider you a friend even though I get pissedabout the bagels. We’ve known each other for a long time and have lotsof good memories. And the good ones far outweigh the bad ones. Would ithelp if I baked you something? Would you take a box of donuts if Ifried them for you? Oh what, you’d be insulted by that? Why, causeyou’re the only one who can make donuts? Grow up, Tim Hortons. BecauseI’d like to do that. Let’s call a truce, and let’s just help each otherout and not worry about our futures and insecurities.

UPDATE: Ha ha I just went vegan Tim Hortons. So you and your buttered bageled egg salad sandwich can go fuck yourself.

Upside-Down Welcome Mats

What is that supposed to mean? Being ever so self conscious I would automatically think it means I am the opposite of welcome, which is not welcome. It's kind of like tarot cards, where if the card is upside down it means the opposite of what the normal meaning of the card is. But with doormats, it might be different. The message as a whole might still be that of "welcome." But maybe the message is not for me. Maybe the message is for those departing the house. It's "welcome to outside." If you own a home and you have a door mat, just make sure you are aware of how your door mat is placed and what guests may interpret it as. Because it may save a lot of paranoia and awkwardness.

What The Hell: Spokey-Dokes

I can't wait till spokey-dokes come back in style. They made the best sound. I'd like some for my purse, so that they make the spokey-doke sound when I'm dancing on the dance floor with my big purse.