His name is Billy Mays

I guess we're on our way to having a Billy Mays/Oxy Clean alarm clock. It's only a matter of TIME, haha.. haha. hahaha.

12/12/12

Well, it's the twelfth day of the twelfth month of the twelfth year—what? It's only 2008? Oh Fuck.

I Promise

We're friends. We just haven't met yet.

Drive-Thru Liquor Stores

One thing I've often wondered is why they don't have drive-thru liquor stores. Most people entering a liquor store want liquor on the go. Plus it would save a lot of embarrassment for a lot of people. Like, you're just gonna end up in a quiet parking lot drinking it and listening to the radio anyway, just like you do with fast food. I always prefer listening to the radio when I'm in a quiet parking lot cause the radio hosts make me feel like I'm with friends. But never when I'm driving. That's just annoying.

If You Can't Beat You, Join You

Can I just say that I have had some of the best times in the past couple weeks, with myself? There ain’t nobody I’d rather hang with, and my new motto is ‘If you can’t beat you, join you.’ And that’s what I’ve done. Next weekend I have a date at the Casino with myself. Slot machine for one, please.


(I will be wearing these like a fucker the whole time I’m sittin at my slot. What date would let me do that? Me. That’s who).