Suit Time

I’ve been pondering and pondering and pondering. Just pondering about this suit-for-a-week business. Now's the time, if I’m really gonna do it. Time to quit making excuses. Time to materialize a reality. Now I just gotta swallow my pride and have the courage to wear a man’s suit around everywhere I go. Because I know it will be an adventure. An adventure between me and me. Which is the best fucking kind there is.

Right, Me?

Yes. Right.

Don't pretend, you anorexic girl

Don’t pretend. I see your little front you’ve put up. You make it look like you’re all healthy and into exercise and you love to bake for people because you’re so high energy. Well you know what? I KNOW about your secret. You like to BAKE. For OTHER PEOPLE. And you never EAT IT. Because you want everyone to be FAT and you want to make sure they get fat by baking them the most fattening, sugary, unhealthy crap you can find from the bulk bins, you cheap fraudulent bin-shopping…wait I can’t think of a name that would be insulting to an anorexic. Because you can’t call them Fat-ass or something implying they’re fat, because they know they aren’t really fat, even though they have body dysmorphic disorder most of the time. You can’t call them skinny or skeleton or anything either because they take that as a compliment. Hmmm. Uglyface? You bin-shopping uglyface.

Just wondering what the point of "Cancer awareness month" is

It's like, I'm seeing advertisements for cancer. Like the way I see ads for wedding photographers on Facebook. It is that obvious. So now they are advertising for us to get cancer? Cause that's what it feels like.

Or maybe they mean this kind of awareness. Prob not tho:

It's Like a RIDDLE

I still haven’t been able to figure out why living things poo. A nice thought I had though is it makes good fertilizer. It is good for plants, poo helps them grow.

Belly Button Is Wet Because:

a) sweat

b) didn’t dry it enough after shower

c) laptop is leaking a clear substance

d) belly button is leaking clear substance

Least creepy answer: b
Answer I hope it is: b

Before & After

Uggly Boots

There are exactly 22 ugly boots in this ad.

Journal from Grade 6

This is what my best friend Dre and I did in Grade 6. Passed around journals all day so we could communicate during class. I kept them all.