
1. We admitted we were powerless over conformity - that our lives had become aimlessly ironic.
2. Came to believe that a corporate Power greater than individuality could restore our sense of self.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of American Apparel as we saw it in all the ads.
4. Made a numbing and pointless inventory of our demoralized selves.
5. Surrendered to American Apparel, to our stupid selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our stupidity.
6. Were entirely ready to have American Apparel amplify these defects of character.
7. Narcissisticly asked American Apparel to reflect our narcissism.
8. Made a list of all persons we had blindly bought into, and became willing to kiss asses with them.
9. Made desperate imitations of such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause them to be more attracting of attention than ourselves.
10. Continued to take personal shopping trips and when we were broke promptly called mom.
11. Sought through spending and randomizing our wardrobes to improve our desperate contact with American Apparel as we wore It, spending only for validation of its acceptance of us and the retardery to carry that out in public.
12. Having had a cultlike brainwashing as a result of these steps, we tried to send this message to conformists, and to infiltrate the world of art, literature, music, style, comedy, everything, the world, ever to remind us to place our veneration of American Apparel before everything else.