They also could have made the girl under "Own It" look a little less like Justin Bieber. I just assumed it was him out of my peripheral. Maybe they did it on purpose, who knows. All those little bieber lovers getting their first periods.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tampon People...
getting us to do all their advertising for them for free. Because you can't wear a tampon on the outside.
They also could have made the girl under "Own It" look a little less like Justin Bieber. I just assumed it was him out of my peripheral. Maybe they did it on purpose, who knows. All those little bieber lovers getting their first periods.
They also could have made the girl under "Own It" look a little less like Justin Bieber. I just assumed it was him out of my peripheral. Maybe they did it on purpose, who knows. All those little bieber lovers getting their first periods.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
I battled my klepto last night and won
I wanted to steal this so bad. But then my conscience came along and thought about all the girls who would have dry asses for me doing a good deed and leaving it in there. I don't know why I always want to steal big ones. With toilet paper it goes back a long way with me. It's not about really needing it so much (even though at times I definitely have), as it is wanting to shove a giant role of toilet paper in my purse and carry it out. And laugh to myself about that. That I have a 2 lb roll of butt paper in my purse that I'm carrying around and smiling at guys and the idiots who work there about. Hmm.
But I don't like stealing little ones anymore, I've noticed. I only get a strong impulse when it's something bigger than a regular sized standard tp roll. Twice as big. For a klepto reaction. I guess because I like the exaggeration of it. Well, that's what it's come to, anyway, with my klepto.
Anyways, I guess that's a good thing I'm not stealing big ones anymore either. Actually sometimes it gets annoying, like the next day when I forget it's in there and accidentally take it to the mall with me. But it's also come in deathly handy too.
The interesting thing to me is that with the little ones I just kinda lost interest in them but the big ones I have to fight sometimes to deny the impulse. I get all moral. Yuck. Like, I also think it's funny that a ton of chicks have lip drip because of me. I'd forgive whoever took the giant roll. I get it. I get other kleptos. That's why I could never own a store. I just wouldn't care. I'd want to steal my own stuff.
Oh and some girl asked me for tp from under the stall beside me, so I told her I didn't have any either, even though had a giant roll.
I guess it's weird because I published Ethical Shoplifting a couple years ago and didn't think about all the moral ramifications of stealing a tp roll from a bathroom stall. Like, that's a lot more immoral than stealing a dress from a store that nobody will ever really miss. I'm really rethinking the right/wrong thing these days I'm not sure I didn't have it backwards.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
American Apparel's 12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over conformity - that our lives had become aimlessly ironic.
2. Came to believe that a corporate Power greater than individuality could restore our sense of self.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of American Apparel as we saw it in all the ads.
4. Made a numbing and pointless inventory of our demoralized selves.
5. Surrendered to American Apparel, to our stupid selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our stupidity.
6. Were entirely ready to have American Apparel amplify these defects of character.
7. Narcissisticly asked American Apparel to reflect our narcissism.
8. Made a list of all persons we had blindly bought into, and became willing to kiss asses with them.
9. Made desperate imitations of such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cause them to be more attracting of attention than ourselves.
10. Continued to take personal shopping trips and when we were broke promptly called mom.
11. Sought through spending and randomizing our wardrobes to improve our desperate contact with American Apparel as we wore It, spending only for validation of its acceptance of us and the retardery to carry that out in public.
12. Having had a cultlike brainwashing as a result of these steps, we tried to send this message to conformists, and to infiltrate the world of art, literature, music, style, comedy, everything, the world, ever to remind us to place our veneration of American Apparel before everything else.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I wonder how bad the fuckin Lays website is
Just saw the commercial for Lays chips. Reminded me of a fuckin Folgers commercial. Probably just like the fuckin McCain's website.
Hmm, let's see
http://www.fritolay.com/lays/index.html
Yep, it's all about happiness and smiles. Fucked stock photos and all. Everything about it's fucked. Especially if you're high as hell.
http://www.mccain.com/Pages/Home.aspx
Hmm, let's see
http://www.fritolay.com/lays/index.html
Yep, it's all about happiness and smiles. Fucked stock photos and all. Everything about it's fucked. Especially if you're high as hell.
http://www.mccain.com/Pages/Home.aspx
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Knives for a Week
Well since I'm such a chicken about doing suit-for-a-week now, 2 years after wanting to, 20 Moores 2-for-1 sales later, I think a good way to work up to that would be to take my knives with me everywhere I go for a week. They'll still be in the bag, safe. But, I'd like to alter my reality that way, bring the knives, see what happens. Bag O'Knives.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
My knives rode shotgun tonite
I took my knives out with me. I put them in an old gym bag and carried them down through my parking garage into my car. Then I put them on the front passenger seat and drove them around. We went to a couple places but I left them in the car, I don't feel they're ready to go out into the public yet.
Not that I wouldn't conceal them. But they're just getting acclimated to the real world. They haven't really been out much, until now.
They're still confused as hell. I'm taking pictures at them through the window and they're stunned. But, it's like taking a baby out for the first time. They just don't have a choice. I keep thinking what if I got in a car accident, and they investigated my car and found a bag o knives. Then an even bigger investigation would open up as to why I have a bag o knives in my car, all the knives in my home (the sharp ones). It would be a cold case. I was 2 stores away from the cop shop when I took the photo, I didn't even realize.
Not that I wouldn't conceal them. But they're just getting acclimated to the real world. They haven't really been out much, until now.
They're still confused as hell. I'm taking pictures at them through the window and they're stunned. But, it's like taking a baby out for the first time. They just don't have a choice. I keep thinking what if I got in a car accident, and they investigated my car and found a bag o knives. Then an even bigger investigation would open up as to why I have a bag o knives in my car, all the knives in my home (the sharp ones). It would be a cold case. I was 2 stores away from the cop shop when I took the photo, I didn't even realize.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
ANA Confession 23225)
I have a 20 month old, and had a mild bout of post partum depression after she was born. Before that I suffered roller coaster ana for most of my young adult life. While I was pregnant I worked really hard to overcome the illness so as to not starve the baby, and thought I had overcome it for the first year after. But lately all I do is compare what I eat to what she eats. I can't allow myself to eat more than she does at meals. Actually it's worse - I find she overeats and I have to stop myself. I feel horrible about this because what mother eats less than their 1yr old baby on purpose? What mother competes with her baby about how much they eat? What will I be comparing next - her measurements? (which I have measured btw - I know her arm and thigh measurements and I hate myself that mine's almost twice as big). I even am sometimes tempted to try on her shirts but have been able to refrain but who knows.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wish-Come-True Foundation grants 15-year old his wish to sleep with a porn star
The Wish-Come-True Foundation is under enormous pressure this week to reverse a decision it has made to grant 15-year old cancer patient Cole Haleman the wish to have sex with a porn star of his choice before he succumbs to terminal illness. The media is up in arms about it, and it seems rightfully so. The young sufferer has not yet reached the age of consent, and the highly regarded charity risks facing charges as an accessory to statutory rape, if in fact the wish comes true.
Bill Tullman, head of the Wish-Come-True Foundation, has sided with the boy and his decision, and has put his own head on the chopping block with an offer to resign if in fact Wish-Come-True is taken to court. "I know the direction this is all going, but I've also known Cole since his first bout of cancer as an 11 year old" says the vehement father figure. "I've never seen a kid so badly want to just be normal. He practically shunned his cancer the entire time he had it, refused to make a wish for three years, even refused treatment for a long time until his parents overrode his decision. He kept up all his normal activities through chemo, won a skateboard championship, and now he has one single request. It's not a desperate request or a joke. It's more just what he would truly wish for if he were a normal 15-year old boy. I'm supporting it. I tried to talk him out of it a couple times but he's also the most stubborn person I've ever met."
Cole's cancer is stubborn too. Suffering a stage IV nephroblastoma, Cole has had four surgeries in his abdomen and a kidney removed in 2008. He received a donor kidney from his 18-year old brother, Michael, a year ago. His prognosis is poor. His doctors have given him about 6 months to live, which is added urgency on the foundation's part to materialize Cole's wish. "I'm fine with his wish, and I'm going to stay supportive of my brother in whatever he wants," proclaims Michael Haleman. "He doesn't have much longer to live. He's a virgin. He doesn't want to die a virgin."
Those not supportive of Cole's entry into manhood run a strong current. Robert Dolf, head of Cherrywood Films, one of the biggest adult film companies in America, wants no part in the cancer wish. The busy producer has been dealing with Wish-Come-True for nearly six months, since the foundation first approached him about lending them one of his starlets, Morgan D Saddleback, a busty, blond 26-year old actress with over 80 adult films under her belt.
"I guess the kid watched a lot of sex from his sickbed and wanted Morgan D," states Dolf. Refusing to sign anything, Dolf excused any involvement with Wish-Come-True, even bilking personal pleas from Bill Tullman that included a buy-out. "I'm protecting the interests of my company and my girls," explained Dolf from his neat and tidy third floor office. "I hope the kid gets his wish but I don't want any part of it. There's a million porn companies out there, go find someone else. Go find someone younger."
That's exactly what Wish-Come-True has done. In an effort to dilute some of the legal scrutiny it might face in the aftermath of the wish, the Foundation went on a cyber hunt for a teen porn star under the age of consent who could not be charged with statutory rape if in fact the wish were fulfilled. "Our ideal candidate was someone under 16," stated Tullman, "that way we wouldn't have to worry about the rape laws of any state." The search was difficult at first, but became easy once the charity found the right websites, mostly ones overseas. "We had no problem finding underage girls, the problem was Cole," adds Tullman. "Like I said, he's stubborn, so he wouldn't settle on anyone amateur or below a certain beauty standard. I know what he wanted, he wanted the typical porn star looking gal, but that's not usually what the 15 year-olds in Japan look like."
Eventually, Cole and his wish granters settled on Ashleigh Belle, a 16-year old independent porn actress from Missouri who was more than delighted to help out. "My little cousin died of cancer, I know what it's like and I can imagine what Cole's going through. I'd love nothing more than to help." So much so, that Ashleigh Belle refused to take the $20,000 payment from Wish-Come-True in exchange for her services. "I don't know why everyone's so mad about this," exclaimed a rather passionate Ashleigh Belle as she blocked scenes for new positions between takes on set for her latest film. "I'm doing this for free. It's cheaper than a trip to Disneyland. Most 15 year olds I know don't want a trip Disneyland, they want to have sex. The poor guy's got nurses touching his dick all day, probably putting catheter's up it and stuff. That's probably torture."
One company wants to film it. When Nightgeist Productions, a small, independent adult film company who worked with Ashleigh Belle on her debut film Whorewolves in 2010, heard of the arrangement, they jumped at the opportunity to capture it. "This is twisted, and it's right up our alley," stated Max Lemo when he heard of Ashleigh Belle's latest volunteer gig. "This is something that comes around once in a lifetime that I not only want to film, but should be filmed for the good of humankind. Are you kidding me?" cried the over-zealous German director/producer. "The story of a boy whose only wish is to sleep with a beautiful woman days before his death -- it's an inspiration to all young boys and to all those who are sick and hopeless in their beds. If he doesn't agree to have it filmed we might just have to re-enact it. But I hope he agrees because I think this might cure him!"
Cole Haleman had few comments when asked if he'd agree to having the wish filmed by Lemo and a small porn crew from inside his hospital room. "I guess. I dunno. I don't really care. It's not like I'm going to be around to see it." Fading words for someone so determined to ignore his illness. Wish-Come-True had words though: "No. Absolutely not," exclaimed Tullman. "We're already in the deep as it is, we don't need exploitation tacked onto our bill as well."
Cole's parents had even more of an opinion. "What are they gonna do, show it at his fucking funeral?" yelled his father, Brentt Haleman. Brentt and Brenda Haleman have expressed strong negative views of their son's wish altogether, and if Cole does in fact pass away after partaking in the wish, they have threatened to sue Wish-Come-True on their son's behalf.
"You can't just give your kid whatever they want, even if they're dying. What are they going to do next, let a child murder someone as a fuckin wish? You've got to draw the line somewhere," an angry and distraught Brentt uttered during an interview. "We're going to do everything in our power to not have this wish come true, and given that we are Cole's guardians and that he's sick, we can still control if he has sex or not, and with who. He's just a teenager with raging hormones and probably radiation affecting his brain. He's not himself and is in no condition to make this decision."
The Halemans have community support behind them, and have even started a counter-foundation titled Save Cole that accepts donations to cover Cole's medical bills, and perhaps provide him with a more reasonable wish before his dying day. "He wanted a BMX for a long time. Right now he wouldn't be able to ride it, but we could place it in his hospital room for him to motivate him, things like that. We'd like to get him lots of things, not just a bike" says a teary-eyed Brenda Haleman.
"These Wish-Come-True fuckers, if they'd just given us the twenty grand we could have paid for some of his damn expenses. Or gone to Mexico or something and searched for alternative therapy. But they're withholding it all because Cole refuses to make any other wishes" stated Brentt.
Cole's lawyer, Luke Freeder, who Wish-Come-True hired on Cole's behalf, has been fighting for Cole's wish from the beginning. The prominent lawyer also has about a dozen wealthy investors lined up who are itching to donate to the charity if the wish is fulfilled. When asked why an investor would care that much to see this wish fulfilled, Freeder was tight lipped. "This kid's got rights. As do all kids. That's why I'm representing him. I can't say much more than that if the age of consent were lowered, or even excused under certain circumstances, there'd be a lot of happy people out there."
Cole's wish is scheduled to take place on December 24, 2011, one day before christmas. The hospital does not allow anything of the sort within its perimeters, so Wish-Come-True will be using its funds to pay for a bed and a nurse in a private location. For as many angry citizens who oppose the wish, there's an enthusiastic wave of supporters in favor of Cole's sex wish. An especially heavy support presence can be found on the internet forums and social networks. Cole receives thousands of emails a day, none of which he responds to, declaring support and encouragement, even praise for his wish. The emails come from people of all backgrounds and denominations, from other teens, young girls offering sex, cancer survivor veterans, and even a Catholic bishop. Whether or not Cole lives to see the day of his wish is yet to be seen. Many are praying for it, and an equal many are probably not.
Bill Tullman, head of the Wish-Come-True Foundation, has sided with the boy and his decision, and has put his own head on the chopping block with an offer to resign if in fact Wish-Come-True is taken to court. "I know the direction this is all going, but I've also known Cole since his first bout of cancer as an 11 year old" says the vehement father figure. "I've never seen a kid so badly want to just be normal. He practically shunned his cancer the entire time he had it, refused to make a wish for three years, even refused treatment for a long time until his parents overrode his decision. He kept up all his normal activities through chemo, won a skateboard championship, and now he has one single request. It's not a desperate request or a joke. It's more just what he would truly wish for if he were a normal 15-year old boy. I'm supporting it. I tried to talk him out of it a couple times but he's also the most stubborn person I've ever met."
Cole's cancer is stubborn too. Suffering a stage IV nephroblastoma, Cole has had four surgeries in his abdomen and a kidney removed in 2008. He received a donor kidney from his 18-year old brother, Michael, a year ago. His prognosis is poor. His doctors have given him about 6 months to live, which is added urgency on the foundation's part to materialize Cole's wish. "I'm fine with his wish, and I'm going to stay supportive of my brother in whatever he wants," proclaims Michael Haleman. "He doesn't have much longer to live. He's a virgin. He doesn't want to die a virgin."
Those not supportive of Cole's entry into manhood run a strong current. Robert Dolf, head of Cherrywood Films, one of the biggest adult film companies in America, wants no part in the cancer wish. The busy producer has been dealing with Wish-Come-True for nearly six months, since the foundation first approached him about lending them one of his starlets, Morgan D Saddleback, a busty, blond 26-year old actress with over 80 adult films under her belt.
"I guess the kid watched a lot of sex from his sickbed and wanted Morgan D," states Dolf. Refusing to sign anything, Dolf excused any involvement with Wish-Come-True, even bilking personal pleas from Bill Tullman that included a buy-out. "I'm protecting the interests of my company and my girls," explained Dolf from his neat and tidy third floor office. "I hope the kid gets his wish but I don't want any part of it. There's a million porn companies out there, go find someone else. Go find someone younger."
That's exactly what Wish-Come-True has done. In an effort to dilute some of the legal scrutiny it might face in the aftermath of the wish, the Foundation went on a cyber hunt for a teen porn star under the age of consent who could not be charged with statutory rape if in fact the wish were fulfilled. "Our ideal candidate was someone under 16," stated Tullman, "that way we wouldn't have to worry about the rape laws of any state." The search was difficult at first, but became easy once the charity found the right websites, mostly ones overseas. "We had no problem finding underage girls, the problem was Cole," adds Tullman. "Like I said, he's stubborn, so he wouldn't settle on anyone amateur or below a certain beauty standard. I know what he wanted, he wanted the typical porn star looking gal, but that's not usually what the 15 year-olds in Japan look like."
Eventually, Cole and his wish granters settled on Ashleigh Belle, a 16-year old independent porn actress from Missouri who was more than delighted to help out. "My little cousin died of cancer, I know what it's like and I can imagine what Cole's going through. I'd love nothing more than to help." So much so, that Ashleigh Belle refused to take the $20,000 payment from Wish-Come-True in exchange for her services. "I don't know why everyone's so mad about this," exclaimed a rather passionate Ashleigh Belle as she blocked scenes for new positions between takes on set for her latest film. "I'm doing this for free. It's cheaper than a trip to Disneyland. Most 15 year olds I know don't want a trip Disneyland, they want to have sex. The poor guy's got nurses touching his dick all day, probably putting catheter's up it and stuff. That's probably torture."
One company wants to film it. When Nightgeist Productions, a small, independent adult film company who worked with Ashleigh Belle on her debut film Whorewolves in 2010, heard of the arrangement, they jumped at the opportunity to capture it. "This is twisted, and it's right up our alley," stated Max Lemo when he heard of Ashleigh Belle's latest volunteer gig. "This is something that comes around once in a lifetime that I not only want to film, but should be filmed for the good of humankind. Are you kidding me?" cried the over-zealous German director/producer. "The story of a boy whose only wish is to sleep with a beautiful woman days before his death -- it's an inspiration to all young boys and to all those who are sick and hopeless in their beds. If he doesn't agree to have it filmed we might just have to re-enact it. But I hope he agrees because I think this might cure him!"
Cole Haleman had few comments when asked if he'd agree to having the wish filmed by Lemo and a small porn crew from inside his hospital room. "I guess. I dunno. I don't really care. It's not like I'm going to be around to see it." Fading words for someone so determined to ignore his illness. Wish-Come-True had words though: "No. Absolutely not," exclaimed Tullman. "We're already in the deep as it is, we don't need exploitation tacked onto our bill as well."
Cole's parents had even more of an opinion. "What are they gonna do, show it at his fucking funeral?" yelled his father, Brentt Haleman. Brentt and Brenda Haleman have expressed strong negative views of their son's wish altogether, and if Cole does in fact pass away after partaking in the wish, they have threatened to sue Wish-Come-True on their son's behalf.
"You can't just give your kid whatever they want, even if they're dying. What are they going to do next, let a child murder someone as a fuckin wish? You've got to draw the line somewhere," an angry and distraught Brentt uttered during an interview. "We're going to do everything in our power to not have this wish come true, and given that we are Cole's guardians and that he's sick, we can still control if he has sex or not, and with who. He's just a teenager with raging hormones and probably radiation affecting his brain. He's not himself and is in no condition to make this decision."
The Halemans have community support behind them, and have even started a counter-foundation titled Save Cole that accepts donations to cover Cole's medical bills, and perhaps provide him with a more reasonable wish before his dying day. "He wanted a BMX for a long time. Right now he wouldn't be able to ride it, but we could place it in his hospital room for him to motivate him, things like that. We'd like to get him lots of things, not just a bike" says a teary-eyed Brenda Haleman.
"These Wish-Come-True fuckers, if they'd just given us the twenty grand we could have paid for some of his damn expenses. Or gone to Mexico or something and searched for alternative therapy. But they're withholding it all because Cole refuses to make any other wishes" stated Brentt.
Cole's lawyer, Luke Freeder, who Wish-Come-True hired on Cole's behalf, has been fighting for Cole's wish from the beginning. The prominent lawyer also has about a dozen wealthy investors lined up who are itching to donate to the charity if the wish is fulfilled. When asked why an investor would care that much to see this wish fulfilled, Freeder was tight lipped. "This kid's got rights. As do all kids. That's why I'm representing him. I can't say much more than that if the age of consent were lowered, or even excused under certain circumstances, there'd be a lot of happy people out there."
Cole's wish is scheduled to take place on December 24, 2011, one day before christmas. The hospital does not allow anything of the sort within its perimeters, so Wish-Come-True will be using its funds to pay for a bed and a nurse in a private location. For as many angry citizens who oppose the wish, there's an enthusiastic wave of supporters in favor of Cole's sex wish. An especially heavy support presence can be found on the internet forums and social networks. Cole receives thousands of emails a day, none of which he responds to, declaring support and encouragement, even praise for his wish. The emails come from people of all backgrounds and denominations, from other teens, young girls offering sex, cancer survivor veterans, and even a Catholic bishop. Whether or not Cole lives to see the day of his wish is yet to be seen. Many are praying for it, and an equal many are probably not.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
DON'T take all your knives to bed with you
even if you're having a shitty night and you want them all there for the sympathy they bring and their potential for harm in a primrosey, knivey way.
Just kidding, I actually just brought them to bed as a joke. I felt they were more disrupted than I was, they were like a pack of wild animals being brought over to live on a domestic farm. They were confused as hell, poor things. But we had a good night, it reminded me of the time I had to sleep with a pitbull. I was a little concerned about having a face in the morning but I trusted. No crazy energy like with the crystals. And we stayed on our respective sides for the most part, no cuddling. Maybe one day though, Id like to think one day I'll cuddle my knives.
Just kidding, I actually just brought them to bed as a joke. I felt they were more disrupted than I was, they were like a pack of wild animals being brought over to live on a domestic farm. They were confused as hell, poor things. But we had a good night, it reminded me of the time I had to sleep with a pitbull. I was a little concerned about having a face in the morning but I trusted. No crazy energy like with the crystals. And we stayed on our respective sides for the most part, no cuddling. Maybe one day though, Id like to think one day I'll cuddle my knives.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Creeps,
I just woke up from a short dream about you. I felt I needed to write this down to you. I think about audiences a lot, and as much as I'd like to have more recognition and more success in this industry, I don't want all the cliche audiences. Like all those people that annoy me, I don't want them to be my audience. Like all the annoying comedians and the christians.
I guess it's warped, because I like having you guys as an audience. For some reason your readership isn't as valid though, and I think that's bull. You guys are enjoying me on a level that is mostly sexual yes, but I hope maybe you get something more out of it. Something you wouldn't get from other sluts on myspace.
Anyways, in my dream I was in trouble. I was being chased and fearful for my life, and then you guys turned up at the club I hid in. You were already there, so many familiar faces. Like Club House Daddy. I saw you guys and I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. It turned out to be a really good, empowering 15 minute dream.
I guess it's warped, because I like having you guys as an audience. For some reason your readership isn't as valid though, and I think that's bull. You guys are enjoying me on a level that is mostly sexual yes, but I hope maybe you get something more out of it. Something you wouldn't get from other sluts on myspace.
Anyways, in my dream I was in trouble. I was being chased and fearful for my life, and then you guys turned up at the club I hid in. You were already there, so many familiar faces. Like Club House Daddy. I saw you guys and I got an overwhelming feeling of relief. It turned out to be a really good, empowering 15 minute dream.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
What if I become an amputee in my life?
That's one thing I fear I guess. How I'd own that. Like, if I had a choice, in an accident or something, to be an amputee for the rest of my life or be dead, I'm not sure what I'd choose. I guess I'm probably offending the amputee community a lot by that. Probably enough that they'd wish amputeeism upon me in order to experience what I deserve. Then I'd fear I'm attracting amputation even more. So I try not to think about it. But I'm on Team Dead. For now.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
ANA Confession 27897)
I used to spell things with my alphagetti like "FAT"..."BITCH"..."FUCK YOU." My family thought it was funny. They'd give me vowels and noodles I didn't have to finish the phrases. What they didn't see was me glaring at the alphagetti in the toilet bowl when it came back up later, with some of the letters acid corroded and indecipherable and some letters still being left to spell things like G-U-N-T.
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