ANA Confession 23225)

I have a 20 month old, and had a mild bout of post partum depression after she was born. Before that I suffered roller coaster ana for most of my young adult life. While I was pregnant I worked really hard to overcome the illness so as to not starve the baby, and thought I had overcome it for the first year after. But lately all I do is compare what I eat to what she eats. I can't allow myself to eat more than she does at meals. Actually it's worse - I find she overeats and I have to stop myself. I feel horrible about this because what mother eats less than their 1yr old baby on purpose? What mother competes with her baby about how much they eat? What will I be comparing next - her measurements? (which I have measured btw - I know her arm and thigh measurements and I hate myself that mine's almost twice as big). I even am sometimes tempted to try on her shirts but have been able to refrain but who knows.