Landskin condomb Lamdskin condoms :a,bski cndoms. :amdslo cpmdp,s/ LAMBSKIN CONDOMS (it's dark)

Eeeeewwwww. It’s one of 2 scenarios:
1. (Which I hope it is) Your partner has a severe allergy to latex and can therefore do it safely no other way; or
2. You want to have sex with an animal (lamb) and it’s a good way for you and the lamb to have a threesome with your girlfriend. That’s why they’re gross. Cause between the two of you, there’s the lamb. That is dead cause it’s been skinned. The lamb is an equal participant, dead or alive. It’s also pedophilia because it’s a lamb. So you could be a bestial pedophilic orgy lover. I hope it’s number #1.

What the Hell is This?

I realize that this blog has become a place for me to hate-on. It's
living up to its name of What the Hell. But this one is a What the
Fuck? This is a WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS PIECE OF SHIT?? I'm not an
expert. I've only been printing letters and numbers in the American
alphabet for the past 20 years. So, silly me when I come across this
wigit or whateverthefuck it is called and have to try 3 motherfucking
times before I can figure out what the shit it is. And I didn't. I gave
up. I gave the fuck up. Because apparently I am a retard, according to
the artificial intelligence that compares me to a computer every time I
sign in.

Crush On You

You found out I've got a crush on you. Eh whatever I'll just deny it. You'll never know the truth. uh - what's that? - you found out from my best friend who can't keep a secret to save her life? Yeah well she can't keep her labia together either and she's also a big liar. So whatever. She probably has a crush on you, she's just trying to see how you'll react. She doesnt wanna scare you off cause she's a big slut and lots of guys hate sluts. They don't want kooties. Never knew a rumor could spread so fast? Never knew my bff's legs could spread so fast either. And trus me, after having a sleepover with her, i know. I think she might be bisexual, actually. Put the moves on me too. Except I've seen her period-stained underwear so THAT's never happening. Gross. She always wanted to read "Are you there god, it's Me Margaret" with me in elementary but I was never into those puberty books. Those were for lesbians. Anyways, yeah, she's a big liar and a slut. What else you wanna know?

Emergency

Oooh God, it's an emergency! I'm stuck in this elevator, I'm stuck! What am I gonna do? I have claustrophobia. Oh, goodness, I'd better think of something - it could be hours before I get out of here. Hey - is that a phone? There's a phone in here??? Thank god, because I don't have a cellphone. PHEW. God I'm glad they put phones in elevators. Now all I have to do is-- hheeeeeyyyyyy... Is - is - is this phone bolted in? The phone is bolted in?!?! Why on earth would they bolt a phone in a place where there might be an emergency?? Well... It's a good thing I brought my screwdriver... heh heh heh. Yep, little ol me, always got my screwdriver on me for emergencies, I'll just take it out of my purse here. There we go, now I'll just unbolt this phone-- Oh fuck, it's a Robertson driver!

Samaritan Advertising For The Week: Cory Larkin

This guy showed up on my grocery cart yesterday, and although I sure as hell won't need a mortgage expert ever, I felt bad shoving his face into all the other grocery carts in the cart lineup. That smile called for the Samaratin ad of the week. Cory Larkin, I hope this helps you get some ass. I mean business.

The Twirly Slide

We are in a sad existence that there are no longer real twirly slides in children’s playgrounds of the modern day. Fuck the plastic junk safety conscious slides that go one and one half rotations and get 4 feet off the ground. I want the metal twirly slides of the 80s with the 3 full rotations, 20 feet high and a big slanted metal support pole that can be used as a second slide if you need it! And I want my kids to have those too! How the HELL are those not in existence anymore? If people are going to rally and take away real twirly slides for safety reasons then at least, at least, at least open a playground for adults with real twirly slides and an adult ball pit and adult moonwalks. I can’t believe no one has done this yet. PLUS. Real twirly slides don’t hold in the smell of pee. Yes, metal twirly slides got pissed on too. They always had a piss stream* down the middle where the paint wore off mixed with sand and piss-covered grit. But, AT LEAST the piss rolled down and got washed off in the rain and didn’t hold old piss in all the fucked up PLASTIC PORES. Hell, type in ‘twirly slide’ in google photo and I can’t even find a real bona fide twirly slide with the blue and red twirly stripe along the rim. fuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckitfuckit!!!!!!!!!!

*[Thank-you to Josh Tuftin for reminding me about the twirly-slide piss]

BM

Haha, Billy Mays' initials are BM, like bowel movement. That's funny.




Whatever you do though, don't buy a Billy Mays alarm clock, or you will fuck off, you will FUCK OFF into a lower density.

Fuckuary

Fuckuary suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuucks.

Been Watching Billy Mays All Day