Suit For a Week

I have decided I am going to go to the store and buy a man’s suit and wear it for a week, just to fuck with my reality. Just to see how my life changes for that short portion of time. And if the changes will be long-lasting. And then maybe I can write a movie about it called “She Wears a Suit For a Week." Yes, the pitch-panel will LOOOOOVVVEE that.

Slut Tattoo Diary #5

The slut tattoo is looking sharp. It's enough to be noticed by the naked eye now, and I kind of want to show it off. I understand these sluts now that I have one of their tattoos. I get it.

Having this new slut tattoo has shifted my perspective somewhat. I look at the world through slightly different eyes. Eyes that go something like, "I have a slut tattoo, so fuck you." I get that slut cockiness now. I get the slut tan, the slut tanning beds, the slut lotion, the slut stickers, the slut bleached hair, the long polished slut nails. We may be making fun of those sluts from the outside, but they're making fun of us on the inside, in all their slutty hotness. And everybody knows, ahead of class, ahead of talent, and arguably even ahead of wealth, slutty is the most important thing.

Slut Tattoo Diary #4

I finally went slut tattooing yesterday after like a week and a half so it was almost like starting all over again from scratch. There was a white blob of an outline of bunny where the original one started but I have long LONG given up with the pen.

I'm confident after this slut tattoo session though, that I will have a decent slut tat for the summer if I don't give up. Only thing I realized is when I go to kits beach in my bikini I won't even be able to show my slut tat off cause I don't want it to disappear/burn. I haven't decided what I'm going to do about that yet. Obviously I will cover it up, but maybe I'll just continue to wear the sticker over it to make even more of a tattoo. Who cares. Is anyone gonna care that I'm working on my slut tattoo at the beach and not in a slut tattoo bed? Is that like, taboo amongst sluts in the slut world? These are questions I want answered for my How To Get a Good Slut Tattoo book that I am compiling right now. I guess I'll find out by the number of gawks I get when I wear my bunny sticker to the beach this summer.

You know what they should do... they should make the stickers look like actual tattoos. If you've ever had your own slut tattoo, you know what I'm talking about. If not, I have included a picture of what a slut tat sticker looks like, they are not pretty. They are bright red and look like a sticker. If they were black or purple or something and made of a material that resembles skin, that might be lucrative to whoever invents that. sigh...

Airplane Gas

Some people think they're chemtrails, trying to cover up the evidence of the reptilians coming over on their planet X. And in many realities it probably is that. But I think it's just the airplane taking a big fart. A fart across the sky!

Dream Interpretation

Interpret this:

I ended up running into "Bruce," an old fling who was persistently pursuing me as usual, and so I decided to give in I guess cause I was kinda horny, only catch was that he had an obese lady attached to his back. So anyways, I'm making out with "Bruce" and being like, do not lie on top of me you have an obese woman on your back, and I was also trying not to touch this woman because she had bed sores. And then, he was kissing me and I noticed that the obese lady was also sensuously licking my shoulder/neck and I freaked out and ended everything. He got even more persistent and so I was like "aren't you married now?" to which he did not deny, and that was it. I told him I was not sleeping with a married man who has an obese lady on his back.

What the hell?

I Want One

http://www.festivalofowls.com/owlsaspets.htm

Astral Projection

I'm finally learning how to astral project and I'm pretty excited about it although it might not be easy for me as I am not one with a "quiet mind." I thought I started to astral project yesterday while meditating and it was really cool cause I was in that pre-dream state and actually remember being with a few other people and being like "ok we're getting on the spaceship now" and then after that my body started feeling REALLY weird, like heavy in a way and I did NOT feel alone, almost like others were holding my hands, then I started seeing wicked geometric patterns and felt I was in space, then it stopped and I thought it was over.

However, now that I read up on AP, looks like I was only in a minimal, minimal stage and was nowhere near actually leaving my body, especially if I could feel it that intensely. I like this how-to site. I like the guy. I would love to go to one of his 20 hr workshops but he's probably in the desert somewhere in the US. Anyways, yeah gonna astral project. This is also good in case I ever go to jail, I'll just leave my body every day/night/all the time.

Joint Email

Trying to convince my boyfriend to get a joint email with me. I want a "Becky & Dan" account. He thinks it's a dumb idea but he's boring. I told him we could use it for swingers evites and stuff. He looked up from the paper at that suggestion so maybe we'll try it.

Friday Night Views

Guessin lots of creeps are on here on a lonely Friday night. Friday = big expectations, which = big potential for disappointment and feeling like a loser. Everybody's out. You're not. You just posted 3 ads on craigslist under the personals section titled Friday Night DT Looking for Nice Girl to to for gyoza with, Let's go for some cupcakes or chocolate, and Hey im in abbottsford!! Ready to have fun, Im hott, very hot boy! Maybe you'll head to Granville later when all the drunk ho's are piling out of the bars and try to snag one before she gets to the Roxy Burger to drown her own lonliness in fries and puke. Thought I'd come on here in the hopes of getting a creep message. Maybe I'll respond to those CL ones with my myspace link and then let you know what happens. Will be my little fri nite experiment. Cause I'm lonely too. I'm so lonely BOO HOO HOO HO HO HOW HO. Gonna go mastabate.

Who Cares?

Who caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeees?

So you fucked up...

I like that about you. Fuck-ups are sexy so long as they own being a fuck-up and rub it in the face. Rub the fuck-up in. Rub it in my face. I like your fuck-up. I like your fuck-up in my face. Gimme more fuck-up. I like your owl shirt. You should go get another one. Just don’t fuck up. Don’t fuck up and buy an eagle shirt. Unless you’re planning on rubbing it in my face. Rub that bald eagle shirt in my face. Put it on. Take my face. Rub it in. Rub your fuck-up eagle head shirt in my face. Please. Write ‘I fucked up’ on it. Wear it. And then rub it all in my face. Just do it. If it’s meant to be it will be. If you’re meant to be a fuck-up, you will fuck up.

Slut Tattoo Diary #3

I've gone 3 times now and the tattoo looks the same. How many times do you have to fuckin go? Do you have to work at a tanning salon? Do I need to get a job at a tanning salon so I can tan every day to make this slut tattoo work?

I think what I'm gonna do as a last ditch is go two days in a row. I'll go tomorrow and the day after. I've heard from tanning insiders that in order to maximize your tan before an event or a slut night out is go for two consecutive days and then rest a day and then maybe a day after that. Geez christ I'm not made of money though, that costs shit. Guess maybe I should get a job at the salon. That would = free tanning, good slut tattoo, cool friends.

...or perhaps tan in the real sun. That always gives the best tan. Oh yeah and I'm gonna bleach my hair. Because I forgot to say, slut tattoo includes bleached hair.

I'll take a picture after my 2-times-in-a-row tan, reason I haven't is cause I'm embarrassed this slut tat looks like shit. Maybe I should write a book. How To Get a Good Slut Tattoo. Interview some sluts. Go from my own experience. Make it all ironic but not really. I wonder if people would buy that. Maybe if I made it an e-book. Nah, it needs to be one of those glossy picture books you seen in Urban Outfitters that would be on some hipster-slut's coffee table. Gonna do it. Gonna pitch it. Nobody steal my idea. K.

The Stupidest Thing Ever

This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

The Campbells

Does anybody remember this show? It was a canadian series in 1986 that was sort of like a Little house on the Prairie ripoff. Anyways, I used to think as a little kid that the family was a family of cannibals because I thought a campbell was the same as cannibal, and when the show would come on late at night and I would see the buggy and the family riding with their big 1900s bonnets and I thought they were going to kill people and eat them. So I turned it off and didn't watch it but it freaked me out for a long time any time I saw those opening credits. I completely forgot about it till now.

Slut Tattoo Diary #2

This slut tattoo thing is a hard bit. First off might I suggest using a permanent pen in order that your regular pen does not wash off immediately in the shower right after you trace your sexy sticker with it.

I dunno about this ... I dunno. Im definitely going to follow through. I want a good slut tattoo for the summer. But I'm worried this bunny is gonna be all fucked up. It might be all over the place and look like shit. I don't want fuzzy lines. I want a nice white prominent bunny.

Another thing is now I have to tan like 3 times a week at least. These sluts are devoted, I'm not even taking them for granted anymore. They put lots of work in and they get good slut tats out. Any time you see a slut with a slut tattoo, know that she is a hard working slut of a woman.