Sleeping Beauty Pt 1 - Not Aurora

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SEEKING GIRLS

Seeking girls to work in a discreet, upscale observation parlor on Broadway and 4th area. Backdoor entrance. High end clientele. Staff vary in age, body type, ethnicity. No observation skills necessary, will train. Private rooms, clean observation environment, safe. Staff must be willing to perform a number of observational duties, including but not limited to observation, deep soul observation, and GFE. Group observation optional. Pay scale depending on observation performed.

How has it come to this?

How does the name Dilworth get to be on everyone's grass? How does that happen? How is it that I'm going to be seeing this countless times a day for the next couple months? Who would think that they'd get voted for with a name like Dilworth? How do you even get into politics with Dilworth, who makes these signs? this is just fantastical to me that this happens. There should be a documentary about it.

Fuck, I'll go vote for him just because. I'll get my ass to a poll station and vote fuckin Dilworth just because his name's Dilworth. Why not just make it Dickweed? Why not take it there, just bring it to that level, please politics. Next year I wanna see Dickweed all over the lawn.

Don't ever change, Myspace

KFC FB PARTY TONIGHT

See u there.

More Food Names

I need to make a correction about Jeff. It reminds me of ROAST BEEF. That's what it is, roast beef with gravy. And also, this is only for the spelling with the "J" not the "Geoff" version. If your name if Geoff with a G, then you don't remind me of roast beef.

Steve - gravy
Jeff - meat, also stew kind of meat chunks
Dave - flank steak
Charles - cheese, those cheese nibs crackers
Scott - (this one's gross) bologne with that circle cheese in it, colorful bologne.
Corey - oreo cookies
Raymond - carrots (this is probably bc I knew a carrot top in elementary school named Raymond)

Melanie - grapefruit cut in half and eaten at breakfast time with a spoon. Does not remind me of a MELON. Reminds me of a GRAPEFRUIT cut in half, not a whole grapefruit.
Jerry - easy -- cherry
Lyle - lyme disease
Wes/Wesley - cooked weasel or rabbit
George - porridge, that's easy, like Georgie Porgie
Brent - french toast
Brett - hair barrettes
Craig - beer
Cory - also oreos, like Corey. But not as much. Just the black part, not the white part.

What Happened with the Heels

I wore them to bed, they were fine. I slipped them off at about 6am because my feet were cramped. I often do that, that's normal.

This morning I had an issue though. Probably because I decided to fucking blog about this, now things are arising. My daughter likes to borrow my clothes. She's 16. I usually let her unless I'm planning on wearing the particular item she wants; or if she's been careless about it and not given it back or has let it sit at the bottom of her laundry pile for a month, then I retract the privilege. Anyways, she's a very aware, very intelligent girl. She's a libra.

She came into my room this morning, after I'd already put clothes on obviously and made my bed and everything (totally forgot the shoes were in there, which also happens a lot. Actually I like climbing into bed sometimes and feeling my shoes down at the bottom). I was going to take her to school today because the friend who usually picks her up was on vacation with her family for an extra long spring break. So she comes into my room, wanting to borrow a sweater. I told her no because I wore the particular sweater on a date with a guy who I blew at the end of the night and I feel weird about letting my daughter borrow my clothes that I've given blowjobs in. It would be different if it was my husband or a boyfriend, but it wasn't. It was a one time date, be both just wanted the same thing, he dropped me off after, Casey wasn't home anyway, she didn't even know I'd gone out on a date that night. But the blowjob shirt, that's what I think of right now when I see that sweater, it needs to be washed and I don't want Case wearing it to school.

So anyways, I made up an excuse like I couldn't find it. She gave me a look like she didn't believe me, and started looking for it. I tried to shoo her out with the excuse we were gonna be late, she really wanted the sweater for a basketball hostess thing (March Madness at her school) and so she looks in my laundry, not there, then sits on my bed to look in my drawers. I started to get pissed but then she's like "there's something in your bed", feeling the surface with her hand, all the while not taking her eyes off me. I knew immediately it was the shoes. I didn't know what to say. I was totally frozen.

So she pulls up the quilt, feels the shoes some more, and then says "Mom there's totally something in here," and pulls out my shoes. I completely panicked. The last time I felt so stupid was when I was 20 and worked as a bartender at a pub. I worked during the day, and often when we'd get new deliveries of bottled booze, before they had a chance to do inventory I'd take one or two bottles of vodka or long island mix or whatever and put them in the old boxes with the empty bottles. Then I'd take the empty bottle box outside like a good worker and put it by the dumpsters for recycling. Later in the night when the pub was closed, I'd return to the pub and retrieve the two bottles I'd snuck out, and then drink them throughout the week, until next inventory. Anyways, this one time I totally got caught. It wasn't even a manager, it was one of the kitchen guys for fucks sakes. I was taking the box outside, and he was like, really loud (within earshot of my manager) "why do those two bottles have caps on them?" Busted. All empties don't have caps. And it sucks because I had thought several times before that I should just undo the caps of the bottles I'd be taking outside, but I guess never thought someone would call me out on that. So I had nothing to say. I played dumb and said "I don't know." And then my manager came over and we took the bottles out and indeed, everyone saw they were full bottles. People seemed somewhat doubtful that I hadn't noticed the extra heaviness of the box. And everyone knew that someone was a culprit. Most gazes were in my direction because, who else would be handling the bottles like I did? A night bartender? Not really.

Anways, same feeling with my daughter today. I said "I don't know." And she just gave me this look, the shoe still in her hand, put it down, and left my room. Not even another word about the sweater, she wore something else to March Madness day.

Thing is, I know my daughter judges me. She thinks I'm a slut, and I kind of am. And the worst thing is, I don't want her to be a slut, and am glad she's not. I don't want her to be like me. If she wore little naked heels to bed in the night I'd be accepting of that and I'd understand, but I'd rather assume she's doing something intellectual or at the very least social and acceptable. And she probably is, that's why she judges me.

Also, about the clothes borrowing, she never wants to borrow my slut clothes. The cute stuff, yeah, and sometimes if something she borrows looks slutty on me, it will look good on her. I'm in no way jealous, but I just feel like such a skank and a loser. I actually think that I'd be disappointed if she stopped asking me to borrow clothes, I'd be hurt if she didn't want to wear my clothes. I hope she doesn't but it's looks like the one she gave me today that make me fear she probably will stop asking me soon.

I doubt mention of the shoes will come up again. I think she knows. There's no reason for her to have suspected the heel wearing, but she's so observant and smart. And there's been other things like that she's discovered, with other dates and stuff. Just very subtle hints but hints her smart little mind can put together. I don't know how this will affect my shoe wearing. Sometimes I wish I just lived alone, so I wouldn't feel like such a slut in my own home. Or I wish I was married so I could do all my kinky stuff within the radius of acceptability. Or I wish they'd move out. But then I'd be lonely, and they'd just judge me more because they'd be further away and have a more objective vantage point from which to judge. But then again, they wouldn't find out about things like my bed shoes. Thank god she doesn't read my blog.

To top it all off, she took a cab to school! She called a fucking cab. She has more spending money than I do, and the little bitch took a cab. I came downstairs and was like "ok are we going?" and she was like "I called a cab. I didn't want to be anymore late." Fucking bitch. She wouldn't be more late, she'd be more late waiting for a fucking cab. But that's a whole other story, because she's judgmental of my driving too, even though she's only got her learners. She can be such a bitch. That made me feel like shit.

So, bed heels stayed on. But I took them off.

Lots of Names remind me of Food

I think this started from when I was a kid. For example, Steven/ Steve reminds me of gravy/stew. Yuck

Steve - gravy
Jeff - meat, also stew kind of meat chunks
Dave - flank steak
Charles - cheese, those cheese nibs crackers
Scott - (this one's gross) bologne with that circle cheese in it, colorful bologne.
Corey - oreo cookies
Raymond - carrots (this is probably bc I knew a carrot top in elementary school named Raymond)

...this will be an ongoing list. I need Cobra to suggest names then I tell her what they remind me of.

If you don't have a Magic 8 Ball...

use a 2 year old. I know how it is, I don't have an 8 ball either, they're $11. But if you have access to a newly turned 2 year old, ask them all your questions, you'll get honest yes or no answers. Some examples I've asked in the past and got answers to include:

- Is ___(insert man here)___ hiding his feelings?
- Is it just me? Lady Gaga sucks, right?
- Am I going to have to be nannying you much longer?

I've been satisfied with all the answers from Responsive 2 year-old.

I'm wearing just high heels tonight to bed

There I said it. I like to do stuff like that. My kids won't know, I have carpeted floors, they won't hear the clicking from my bed to the bathroom and back several times for water, urination, and detoxifying vitamins. Heels in the night work great for stepping on silverfish that scuttle from under the dark when I flick the light on and look at a sex face in the mirror that hasn't had sex, just good high heels to bed. I like the feel of the heels


snagging the sheets. I like the dirt crumbs. I like clicking the heels together and pretending to be a slut Dorothy in bed with the wizard of oz. Not an old man, a young one with a topaz zodiac who controls everything and blue green slut shoes that match my blue green slut shoes.

Pesticide Control

They're coming tomorrow. To remove silverfish. Thanks, guys. I've seen a few silverfish sprinting through my bathroom, it'll be nice to not have to be freaked out every time I see one run away. But you know what would have been better?

If I'd got this notice a year ago. If we'd all got notices a year ago, when I found a container of almonds full of festering maggots in my kitchen. You know what that did to me?

I don't store food in cupboards anymore. I have no food in my house. Nothing in the freezer. I barely eat. This has actually traumatized me to the point of a relapse of my ED. I already hated food, got over that sort of, and now hate it again because every time I think of food I think of what a handful of maggots would add to the palatability of whatever food I'm looking at.

Thanks, guys. Thanks, pesticide control. Seriously. Thanks. It was just an excuse to relapse, for me.

Jo_ gives good advice

http://www.answerbag.com/profile/1443241

She's still a beginner though.

Super Fun Clock

Next time I need someone to liven the party I'm taking this clock with me.

Another excerpt from Dream Journal

Thursday, March 10, 11:14 pm - 11:15 pm

-something about Gord (short for Gordon, but went by Gord).

Excerpt from my Dream Journal

Monday Feb 28, 6:30am- 10:30am

Little Dick

-Me and others at the beach with little dick and his dad, Josh. Josh was hot, didn't seem much older than little dick. They looked like brothers. I developed a crush on Dad.

-I had to leave for some reason, was planning on coming back. I went walking down around the Hastings area. There were some immigrants or Americans (cr) and I knew they were impressed with how normal looking trendy people can walk amongst all the crackheads etc. I was making my way back to the beach and somehow got lost., even though I knew the area well. I just kinda ignored all the scary people, maybe some devil worshipers who were doing weird chants and rituals. I found my way back to the beach but little dick's dad was gone, and I think he was replace by little dick's mom and possibly younger brother.

-Then I thought about the size of little dick's dad's penis and was very disappointed. My heart sank. All I could see in my head was extremely skinny fingers, like the size of a pencil almost.

My split ends started their own tumblr

You can follow them here.


http://splitendscollection.tumblr.com/


I'll also be adding some new split ends photos to my myspace Split Ends album in the days to come.