Hey, Tampon Girl

I know about 1000 men who would buy tampons for you without hesitation. They're all on myspace, 50 or older, overweight, and wearing a thin white t-shirt and cheap deodorant. Most of them are in my Friends list and would drool at the opportunity to touch the outer surface of something that will be going up your vagina.

Tampon People...

getting us to do all their advertising for them for free. Because you can't wear a tampon on the outside.









They also could have made the girl under "Own It" look a little less like Justin Bieber. I just assumed it was him out of my peripheral. Maybe they did it on purpose, who knows. All those little bieber lovers getting their first periods.

Fuckin Folgers Jingle Contest

You've got to be fucking kidding me. This is amazing.

http://www.bestpartofwakinup.com/2010-folgers-jingle-contest-recap



FAVORITE QUOTES:

"What inspired me to write my jingle was really the original jingle itself"

"We woke up early and we brewed some folgers coffee. We were just inspired by the aroma in the air." [Singing] "The aroma in the air.."

BRILLIANT

Scrap all my weekend plans, I'm doing this.

Hey, Tampon Girl

I know about 1000 men who would buy tampons for you without hesitation. They're all on myspace, 50 or older, overweight, and wearing a thin white t-shirt and cheap deodorant. Most of them are in my Friends list and would drool at the opportunity to touch the outer surface of something that will be going up your vagina.



You're just asking the wrong men.

You're being tryhards, Myspace

What's with the tentacles and deer heads and shit coming out of the my______ thing now? TRYHARD. I wanna see a big long dick flop outta that my______ and splooge all over my profile. If you were true to yourself, myspace, that's what you'd do. 

I get it I get it -- it's indie cute, the teenagers love it, you're trying to re-route your content to your desired audience. Heart shaped lollipops are nice, they remind me of my first year university when I licked 4 of them in a row during reading week while reading Silence of the Lambs and falling in love with Hannibal Lecter. I get it. 

Design your Downy

Hurry up, the chronological clock is ticking, there's not much time left.

http://www.downy.com/en-CA/designyourdowny.jspx

Yeah it did, it's called Bearback

Obviously written by a fundamentalist Christian man who's done it no other way.