Friday Night Views

Guessin lots of creeps are on here on a lonely Friday night. Friday = big expectations, which = big potential for disappointment and feeling like a loser. Everybody's out. You're not. You just posted 3 ads on craigslist under the personals section titled Friday Night DT Looking for Nice Girl to to for gyoza with, Let's go for some cupcakes or chocolate, and Hey im in abbottsford!! Ready to have fun, Im hott, very hot boy! Maybe you'll head to Granville later when all the drunk ho's are piling out of the bars and try to snag one before she gets to the Roxy Burger to drown her own lonliness in fries and puke. Thought I'd come on here in the hopes of getting a creep message. Maybe I'll respond to those CL ones with my myspace link and then let you know what happens. Will be my little fri nite experiment. Cause I'm lonely too. I'm so lonely BOO HOO HOO HO HO HOW HO. Gonna go mastabate.

Who Cares?

Who caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeees?

So you fucked up...

I like that about you. Fuck-ups are sexy so long as they own being a fuck-up and rub it in the face. Rub the fuck-up in. Rub it in my face. I like your fuck-up. I like your fuck-up in my face. Gimme more fuck-up. I like your owl shirt. You should go get another one. Just don’t fuck up. Don’t fuck up and buy an eagle shirt. Unless you’re planning on rubbing it in my face. Rub that bald eagle shirt in my face. Put it on. Take my face. Rub it in. Rub your fuck-up eagle head shirt in my face. Please. Write ‘I fucked up’ on it. Wear it. And then rub it all in my face. Just do it. If it’s meant to be it will be. If you’re meant to be a fuck-up, you will fuck up.

Slut Tattoo Diary #3

I've gone 3 times now and the tattoo looks the same. How many times do you have to fuckin go? Do you have to work at a tanning salon? Do I need to get a job at a tanning salon so I can tan every day to make this slut tattoo work?

I think what I'm gonna do as a last ditch is go two days in a row. I'll go tomorrow and the day after. I've heard from tanning insiders that in order to maximize your tan before an event or a slut night out is go for two consecutive days and then rest a day and then maybe a day after that. Geez christ I'm not made of money though, that costs shit. Guess maybe I should get a job at the salon. That would = free tanning, good slut tattoo, cool friends.

...or perhaps tan in the real sun. That always gives the best tan. Oh yeah and I'm gonna bleach my hair. Because I forgot to say, slut tattoo includes bleached hair.

I'll take a picture after my 2-times-in-a-row tan, reason I haven't is cause I'm embarrassed this slut tat looks like shit. Maybe I should write a book. How To Get a Good Slut Tattoo. Interview some sluts. Go from my own experience. Make it all ironic but not really. I wonder if people would buy that. Maybe if I made it an e-book. Nah, it needs to be one of those glossy picture books you seen in Urban Outfitters that would be on some hipster-slut's coffee table. Gonna do it. Gonna pitch it. Nobody steal my idea. K.

The Stupidest Thing Ever

This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

The Campbells

Does anybody remember this show? It was a canadian series in 1986 that was sort of like a Little house on the Prairie ripoff. Anyways, I used to think as a little kid that the family was a family of cannibals because I thought a campbell was the same as cannibal, and when the show would come on late at night and I would see the buggy and the family riding with their big 1900s bonnets and I thought they were going to kill people and eat them. So I turned it off and didn't watch it but it freaked me out for a long time any time I saw those opening credits. I completely forgot about it till now.

Slut Tattoo Diary #2

This slut tattoo thing is a hard bit. First off might I suggest using a permanent pen in order that your regular pen does not wash off immediately in the shower right after you trace your sexy sticker with it.

I dunno about this ... I dunno. Im definitely going to follow through. I want a good slut tattoo for the summer. But I'm worried this bunny is gonna be all fucked up. It might be all over the place and look like shit. I don't want fuzzy lines. I want a nice white prominent bunny.

Another thing is now I have to tan like 3 times a week at least. These sluts are devoted, I'm not even taking them for granted anymore. They put lots of work in and they get good slut tats out. Any time you see a slut with a slut tattoo, know that she is a hard working slut of a woman.