Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My New Standard For Comedy

Does it sound like something someone would say on Twitter?

...guess I'm back to writing long blogs again.



WITTY PRETENTIOUS BANTER WITTY PRETENTIOUS BANTER WITTY PRETENTIOUS BANTER WITTY PRETENTIOUS BANTER WITTY PRETENTIOUS BANTER QUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTYQUICKWITTY
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Tweet that!

PS

why didn’t Christine choose the Phantom?. She’s an idiot.

I can’t wait to go see ALW’s new The Phantoms of the Opera starring those Jabberwockies. She’s gotta choose at least ONE of them out of the 10.

Monday, March 22, 2010

How Scary Will This Day Be?

The day I say “damn I wish I was 37 because I am 42.” Five years difference. It’s like the difference between 22 “I’m the hottest thing on earth” compared to 27 “I’m not as shit hot as I thought I was” Oops I meant “27 I’m the hottest thing on earth” compared to “32 I’m not as shit hot as I thought I was” Oops I meant “32 I’m the hottest thing on earth” compared to 37” I’m not as shit hot as I thought I was.” Oops I meant “37 I’m the hottest thing on earth” compared to 42” I’m not as shit hot as I thought I was.” What?

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Bored #12

I don't know how the hell to fix a motherbored. I'll just buy a new computer.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Bored #10

I'm Jon Mayer. I don't want you to hit your head on my headbored without my hand behind it during sex while I sing you a song in my queef voice.