Recipe for Survivor

.. .. .. .. .. .. ....

1. Girl with short dark hair and giant tits

2. Black person

3. Good looking male bartender/actor with dumb eyes

4. Cute blond girl who has a loving platonic relationship with a nice older man

5. Nice older man

6. Loudmouthed obnoxious middle-aged barrel shaped bulldyke

7. Patrick Swayze look-alike

8. Old lady with southern accent and sun damage

9. Girl with brown hair who only wears it in braids

10. White catholic man who thinks he’s the tribe leader

Lol, Remember Lloyd Banks?

Poor Ja Rule, too. I feel sorry for Ja Rule from back when 50 Cent started making fun of him. He was cool until then. Then he Disappeared.

My Elevator

We could make out in my elevator. It smells like people's cooking and has fake wood paneling. There's no guarantee it won't break down, and it lasts 2 minutes.

I'm pretty sure you want that.

That family that can't stop having kids

You're modest??? How are you modest? You have 19 kids! You're just as much an advertisement for sex as the red light district you hypocrites.

Something We All Did

Who didn't watch the Hitchhiker late at night as a young kid in order to catch some soft core porn?

Andy Weaver

My English 100 instructor's name was Andy Weaver. Andy Weaver was a small bald man who I remember to have worn a fish necktie during the one or so class I attended. Andy Weaver sometimes talked about how he knew Tom Green growing up and how Tom Green was an ass. Andy Weaver assigned us to read 1. Dorian Gray by that famous guy and 2. something about cowboys by Michael Ondatje who wrote the English Patient (barf barf). I wonder about you, Andy Weaver. I wonder about you.

Ring Ring

Your lame phone's ringing. 2004 is calling.